Emotional Rollercoaster

I pray hard this IVF would work... Why?
1. I really wanted more children.
2. I paid loads for this treatment.
3. I could not focus on work at the moment as kept thinking about the treatment plus emotionally unstable due to tons of drugs circulating in my body.
4. I need to go and see the doctor and undergo process that i despise....
5. Who likes injection... Frequent and daily injection
6. I have hope in my heart and the desire keep pressing me.

So when i get setback like hiding and inaccessible ovary.... of course i'm depressed. Top it of with six follicles on the left ovary with variable sizes... I worried... worried a lot. What if... No eggs in the follicles.. what if the eggs immature... what if no fertilization.....

Written Date 2/4/2012

Stim Day 8.... So Far Not So Good

I started to feel dull ache feeling on my right side of pelvis. It should be a good sign right? My ovary is growing nicely with beautiful follicles. Well i was told to see Dr Tee on 2/4/2012 at Subang Branch. I was having positive vibes all along. Despite having been poorly the whole week of stimming, I've got fever and runny nose. It was bad continued with non stop cough since thursday. I've taken in lots of medication hoping all the pain will go away. I've taken paracetamol, actifed, antibiotic, prednisolone, cetrizine and two other cough medicine prescribed by GP. I also mentioned give me something that is IVF friendly please.

Monday mid day i leave early from my office, had lunch and arrived at the clinic at 2:15. The nurse let me know Dr Tee is running a bit late. Usually he comes at 2:30, so I say i'll wait. Well... I have to wait don't i... I can't just be running around to other Dr to scan me, do I?

Around 3pm, Dr arrived and i get to see him around 3:15 as i'm the second patient in line. First question from the Dr "Have you got your menses?"...... WTF... You can't remember what stage I am and don't you capture something in my file? So I told Dr Tee I've stimming 7 days already and to see the progress... Right... Let have a vaginal scan... Wohooo yeah... Any normal person likes her V to be poke around? Haahaha I was so excited to see how many follies I have.

So Dr Tee explained... My uterine is about 11mm thick... Hmmmm luscious... He explained the utering is moving around like velvet sponge waiting for embryo to implant.... Yeay...

On to my left ovary, he could see around 6 follies with the most dominant 23mm X 16 mm and other smaller sizes. Moving to my right ovary........ Poke around, I started to feel bit uncomfortable... AND.... no follicles on my right ovary... he could not find my right ovary... He said not to worry, maybe during retrieval when I'm fully sedated he could find my right ovary. I'm pretty pissed off. Last IVF, they could only managed to retrieve from one ovary and ended up with zero fertilisation.

He was not happy with my response. He could not remember my gonal f dose. Dr darl... you are supposed to jot down everything about me in my file.

I was given menosys (similar to Menopur HMG (Human Menopausal Gonadotropin)). 2 sets of 75 iu. One for tonight and tomorrow. Will see Dr Tee again on Wednesday 4/4/2012. Today Nurul the embryologist is not around, leaving me with another lady to explain to me about the medication. She has problem speaking malay. well somehow I could manage to understand the instruction.

It's consist of two ampoules. You need to break the glass. I'm a bit nervous about that. since my previous encounter with this sort of bottle, I managed to break the glass and cut my fingers. Browse through the google found some cool tips on how to break the glass. Easy peasy though my hands were shaking throughout the process.

Main problem... the needle was to short to draw the drug. WTF.... I know something wrong here. They should have given me a longer needle... After half an hour struggling at the point of panicking and crying I managed to tilt the bottle and have menosys for injection.

Reminder to me... Get a longer needle from the clinic tomorrow.

Written Date : 2/4/2012

Been there, done that

Well.... AF came on 23/03/2012 and came to see the Dr on Saturday 24/03/2012. By this time I have been D/R for 3 weeks (CD21 8/3/2012)... Yes I know my cycles are long 35 days but apparently i've been told anything between 26 - 35 days are considered normal.

Waited a while, there's nothing much else to do on saturday morning right other that seating in the waiting area to see Dr Tee. Finally my name was called. We had a scan, everything was ok minus the fibroid 1.2 cm in the uterus. We had a bit complication trying to draw blood being me with little shy vein and all. I was asked to start stimming Monday CD4 26/03/2012. So we waited again in the lounge. Paid the RM6000.00 and waited for the embryologist to see me. After half an hour or so, sat down with Nurul the embryologist. She asked me to stim using 300 iu dose of Gonal F daily.

Gonal f injection pen have 375 iu dose per pen and I have to use it wisely. Meaning if have balance from previous pen, I'll have to inject twice. Ouch.
Let say:
Stim D1: Pen 1 300iu
Stim D2: Pen 1 75 iu + Pen 2 225 iu

She handed me over 8 pen in total.

So now my daily schedule:
Morning 7:30 am : burserelin 20 units / 0.2 ml
Night 8:00 pm : Gonal F 300 iu

Written Date: 2/4/2012

IVF No 4

Well here I am again... In IVF rollercoaster. I'm 36 and going to be 37 this April. I feel this would be my last attempt to have another baby/babies.

I'm staying in another state and i could not consider going back to the centre before.

I've been looking into few places/centres. My criterias:
1. Cost
2. Distance
3. Doctor Reputation

I've decided to go for Metro IVF. They have a package 1 IVF cycle is RM12800 (below 35 years). For each additional year RM 300.00. I have to pay RM 13,100.00 in full.

First visit when I booked I have to pay RM2000.00. Another RM2000.00 when I start down regulating. RM6000.00 CD 2 Scan and blood work. RM 3100.00 during ER.

During first appointment I was to told during u/sound that I have 1.2cm fibroid in my uterus. Doctor was not concerned as the size is small.

DH SA came back, count was 40 million but Dr is more concerned on quality.

Came in on 8 March 2012 (CD21) for a scan and suprefact. 0.2ml every morning at 7:30. 

Written Date 26/3/2012

IVF No 3

In November 2009 I went for another cycle of IVF. 15 eggs retrieved and 0 fertilized. I was gutted. Nobody could explain what happen. I was told by the embryologist the eggs and quality was good and they were puzzled why none fertilized.

I was traumatized, it's not something cheap and to have it done again.... I need to regrouped with DH and think this through. I'm moving to another branch, the work are hectic. I don't know if I have the time, energy and money to do it again

Written Date: 26/3/2012

IVF No 2

I've been a meaning to have another go on IVF so DS can have sibling. I could not do it in 2006 as I undergo lapcholestomy. Early 2007 I went for another cycle of IVF in Melaka, the same centre where I had my ICSI which resulted a BFN.

This time around I managed to have 16 eggs retrieved and 3 fertilised. It was transferred day 3, 2 embryo 8 cells and 1 embryo 7 cells.

BFP. DD was born on 9 December 2007. Fully breastfeed her till 1 yo and continue BF and formula till she is 3 yo

Written Date :26/3/2012

IVF NO 1

DH continue his PHD in Sheffield which I accompany him. I've started again asking around and met my GP. Told about my history and he referred me to Sheffield Hospital. I've to wait 4 months before I could get a HSG appointment as they do the procedure on day 10 and it must on thursday. Blood work done. Finally we get to see a doctor. We were told it is impossible for me to be pregnant. I've asked the doctor to refer me to the fertility centre.

So off we go to Assisted Conception Unit (ACU) I was given option either to do it free but the waiting list is 2 years to privately funded (immediately). So we opted immediately of course. The cost for it is 2100 pound. The doctor tested DH sperm and informed we can have IVF. We were later asked when do we want to start our treatment. Hmmm it's a dilemma, I was doing my full time MSc and working part time. So I choose early 2004 as I've just finished my exam and could concentrate on the treatment.

ACU managed to retrieved 8 eggs. The doctor was quite surprise as I have less than 10 eggs considering my age ( I was 29) I remembered doctor was commenting after ET we might use different regiment if this cycle does not work.

Day 2 I was informed by ACU the have 2 eggs fertilised and they were good quality embryo. Transferred day 2, 2 embryo 4 cells.

BFP. DS was born on 13 December 2004. 3.14kg. Breastfeed him till he is 1 yo

Written Date 26/3/2012